Let me start by putting something straight, it may have looked like Graham Bell beat me in the Michelob ULTRA London Triathlon last weekend, but don’t be fooled! According to race stats, I was 27th out of the 350 in our wave, whereas Bell did not finish. He may be able to cheat the TV cameras but he cannot fool the timing chip!

Why I agreed to race this mad man in the first place I don’t know. Bear in mind, he finished the Etape this year in a little over eight hours, an excellent performance, but it’s his competitiveness that is really terrifying. OK, he was an Olympic skier so you expect some aggression, but this man wore a heart rate monitor on Celebrity Superstars… Good God, he is a lunatic!

He even called in the help of Tim Don to guide him to victory… An Olympian versus a wimpy TV presenter, he could have called on Timmy Mallet for help and he still would have won. Anyway, I had to have a strategy, so I got Big Russell (our camera man) to get a few pints down Bell’s neck the night before. My plan was to rip the swim and be out of the water first, limit the damage on the bike and cruise past him on the run.

Good in theory, putting it into practice was a different story. Graham got the announcer to point me out before we got into the water so I became target number one for the 300 plus people in our wave. I got into a nice position on the off and ripped it for 100 metres until someone kicked me in the head. Dazed and confused I spent the next five minutes looking for the bastard to kick his ass, but with 300 blokes in black wetsuits and white caps, it was a bad idea.

Transition in London is odd; it took me nearly a minute to get my wetsuit in the plastic bag before slipping my way up the stairs. Bell was gone, the chase was on. It’s the first time my legs felt good after a swim, and the bike, although very windy, went alright for me. I have a new Trek carbon fibre bike and it makes a huge difference, sadly I am stuck with the same chicken legs!

But it’s the damn jelly legs in T2 that really cause me problems. God I hate them, and I can only hope I don’t look as stupid as I feel when I take off on the run. It took me a while to get going, and my second lap was 90 seconds faster than my first (a training issue I think). Sadly, I couldn’t catch Graham; little did I know he would get a DNF, a Bell-End indeed!

This soap opera is all a part of the BBC’s tri coverage. It’s great to be back meeting the stars of the sport and watching some supreme racing again. In Salford I caught up with some familiar faces, one in particular that I nearly threw into the dock!

I was standing on the pontoon looking down at the swim course, when he came up to me and said – “Craig, you look awful!” Excuse me, I thought to myself, as he continued with the abuse “Oh yes Craig, you look all skinny and bony. Your face is a bit sunken and pale and you look like you need a good meal”.

What is this guy’s problem I thought? He kept smiling and finished his attack with “Training must be going well!” Of course, in the weird and wonderful world of triathlon, this was a compliment.

You see, proper triathletes don’t actually look really healthy in a traditional sense. Such are the physical demands of training and racing, they literally don’t have a pick of fat on them. Their clothes hang off them and they actually look good in tri suits, no mean feat!

Of course, I didn’t tell him that I look like that because baby Milo doesn’t believe in lie-ins and commuting between Ireland and England means far too many 4 am starts… Basically, I look awful because I feel awful.

Training is still a bit of a non-runner at the moment, Milo doesn’t believe his Dad should have 15 free hours in a week and neither do his brother and sister! Thankfully I have a guru, well a couple of gurus. My Wicklow mentor, Adam Kelly, a fine triathlete and coach, says four weeks is plenty of time for me to get in race shape for Hamburg. Tim Don sympathised with me the other today saying he had to cut back to 15 hours training a week due to an injury… Yes, he said CUT BACK to 15 hours training a week!

If I get in five hours a week I’ll be doing well. To be honest this season is all about getting some experience, next season I will be awesome…if the kids let me!

Just a reminder, if you want to donate a few quid to Leukaemia Research, the charity I did London for, please use the link below to chip in. Any amount, no matter how small, would be much appreciated. Thanks again,
Craig