One of the great things about the English language is the multitude of sayings, maxims and metaphors that allow us to take comfort from whatever circumstances we find ourselves in. For example, on the one hand, it is said that many hands make light work, but on the other, that too many cooks spoil the broth! And the world of triathlon does not escape. I have probably read just about every training journal ever written on triathlon in the quest for the holy grail; ie, to become world-class on next-to-nothing training, and I think I can legitimately divide them equally between those which say you should turn the negatives into positives and those who argue that you must be honest with yourself and learn from your mistakes.

So, in that vein, there follows a report, well, I should say two reports, on my exploits at the first in this year’s series of Thames Turbo sprint races. As you will have gathered from last month’s column, I went into this event with confidence at a low ebb and not expecting a great deal. In fact, I was expecting a kick in the teeth; a wake up call, and that is exactly what happened. At the end of 2004, I posted a time of one hour three minutes and a few seconds for this race, which got me 13th place overall and first in my age group. Some three years on, I achieve 122nd place; sixth in my age group in a time of 1:18:13. So where did it all go wrong? To help you solve this conundrum, there follows two race reports from opposite extremes of the spectrum!

Turning the negatives into positives

Even finishing an event that comprises a 438m swim; 13.5 mile bike and 5km run is something that the overwhelming majority of the adult population could not even complete, let alone do so in one hour and 18 minutes. So that puts me at the pinnacle of fitness and something I can be proud of, particularly as the pleasure of free bus travel is not that very far away. I shall be 54 in a few weeks time, so I should take comfort in the fact that I am still able to drag my ageing body around the triathlon circuit.

In 2008, prior to the race on 24th March, I had visited a pool on just eight occasions and never managed more than 800m in any one session. One could say that this was hardly ideal preparation for my first race of the season, but we are in positive mode, so let’s search for a few silver linings to the otherwise cloudy picture. The swim time at Thames Turbo includes the time taken in T1 and at my best, my time for the 438m swim and T1 is about 8:40. Hardly Ian Thorpe stuff, but I am to swimming what Eddie “the eagle” Edwards was to ski-jumping. Enthusiastic, keen, but hopelessly out of depth!

So how do I account for the leisurely 10:45 it took me to complete the swim leg the other week? Well, those of you who ventured out early on Easter Monday, can’t help but have noticed that it was a bit cold, with snow in the air. Hardly ideal triathlon weather! I had decided before the race to wear a long sleeved compression top underneath the tri-suit and to slip on a cycling jacket over the top after the swim. That probably added 30 seconds or so to my normal time, but at the last moment, I decided to leave a pair of gloves in T1 which proved to be my downfall. To be honest, I hadn’t really thought this through beforehand and, with hindsight, I should have taken a pair of the many cycling gloves I possess. These would have slipped on pretty easily, but the gloves I had with me were running gloves that are a comfortable fit with dry hands but an excruciatingly tight fit with wet and cold hands! I must have wasted over a minute trying to get them on and although I was tempted at one stage to throw them away in disgust, I persevered and was glad I did given the cold conditions on the bike.

And so on to the bike. My times for the 13.5 mile bike leg has varied between 35 and 39 minutes but the 41 minutes I recorded this year was an all time worst. Just about the only excuse I can offer is that five minutes into the bike, I went to change up to 53 x 16 (I’m a spinner, not a grinder) but the derailleur wouldn’t shift up from the 53 x 15 and I spent the rest of the bike leg on the small ring to maintain my usual  high cadence. Heading into T2 I was already well down on the clock and heading for a personal worst time. This wasn’t helped by the fact that in T2, my frozen, numbed feet stubbornly refused to co-operate and the picture of me hopping around trying to get my running shoes on must have been a picture. In the end I gave up, sat down, and saw the funny side of things. That lost time in transition and my lack of fitness on the run, resulted in an embarrassingly slow time of 26 minutes but, being in positive mode, I wasn’t forced to stop on the run and I overtook more folk than overtook me!

So all in all, had it not been for the atrocious weather and mechanical problems on the bike, I am certain in my own mind that I would have given the eventual winner, Dan Corner, a good run for his money. Oh, and I hadn’t shaved down either. Perhaps I could have nicked the course record as well!

The ugly truth

It was awful. Compared to the general population, my effort is to be congratulated, but compared to the triathlon community, my age group peers and my own previous performances, it was everything I thought it was going to be, and worse. My first race in the 2007 series was completed in one hour and 12 minutes, but I am a notoriously slow starter and this improved to one hour and seven minutes by the fourth and final race in August. Although I went into the race knowing that my fitness level was poor, I still thought that I was capable of avoiding a new personal worst time. Looking back on the race, and trying to be objective, I think I lost about three minutes because of the extra clothing needed, getting stopped at the “waterworks” traffic lights and having to spend most of the bike leg on the small ring. But that only brings the time down to one hour and 15 minutes, which means that I have lost about three minutes worth of fitness compared to the same time last year.

And the answer is?

Luckily, I have always been the type of person whose cup is half full rather than half empty and I will, therefore, put this minor setback behind me and think positively about where things went wrong and how to put things right. In practical terms, this means losing more weight and spending the next two months doing the sort of training, in terms of volume, that most normal triathletes would have done over the winter months. On that basis, I have set myself a target of not thinking about being race fit until the Windsor standard-distance race in June and will use four sprint events before then to gauge my fitness levels and identify any weaknesses that need to be addressed. With luck, I should be flying by the end of the season!